SMBC Support Groups

SMBC Support Groups

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, SMBC Support Groups are a must if you are on this journey. I have joined a couple of groups on FB and I can say, its changed things for me. Not only is there a group of people I can talk and pose questions to and also learn from their posts. I don’t feel as alone as I read about the thousands of other woman on this same journey.

SMBC Support Groups

It validated my decision, in a way, because I was questioning if I was making the right move. When I recognized that it wasn’t that weird or uncommon to be a single mother by choice. It’s made it easier for me to be happier with my decision. It is also why I felt inspired to start this blog. I really want other people to hear my thoughts and concerns and know that their own thoughts and concerns are valid.

For me personally, the one thing that makes this a tough choice is that it feels like a decision to be lonely. In a way it does, even though I soothe myself saying, I can still meet someone. The truth is that I can, but I feel as though I partly waited so long to meet the one and have HIS child. So in a way going ahead with this on my own is mostly disappointing because I’m not having this experience in a way I really wanted.

SMBC Support Groups Can Help You Focus on the Positive

One of the benefits of the SMBC Support Groups I joined on FB is that I am able to bounce these thoughts off of the group. They provide new thoughts, happier feeling thoughts, which make me feel differently and more reassured. That has been a real asset. I know how important it is to find better feeling thoughts because of my past experiences and recoveries. Having a group that helps reassure you that it is not the end of the world is so amazing. Since the truth is, that it isn’t the end of the world.

In fact, it is actually an amazing experience. Having a child via sperm donor is just as amazing as having a child with “the one”. The fact is that it’s just a different experience, but the outcome is the same. A beautiful amazing child that I get to raise and help flourish and live a hopefully amazing, happy life. That is what I’m really looking forward to and what is motivating me in this situation and when I remember that, I forget any hesitation. The SMBC support groups are great for helping you keep your focus on the end result.

Many of the woman who choose to do it on their own are also facing the issue of time and concerns about reproductive health. I have that same concern, as well. I’ll be turning 33 in a few months and I’m thinking about the time it can take to find a healthy relationship and reach a point of choosing to have children together. It could be years. When I see other woman with the same concerns, and older woman advising to try sooner, I feel even more validated. Since I feel totally prepared to be a parent in every aspect of my life besides having a partner. I feel like waiting is not an option and the posts and comments I read in groups and forums helps me know it’s the right choice.

We Are Similar But Still Different

You’ll get to hear the stories of those who have already done it, but you’ll also hear from those going through it, pregnant, not pregnant. You’ll realize that even though we have in common choosing to be single mothers, there is a vast difference in experiences and stories as well. I read a story about a woman’s adult children meeting their sperm donor. Then there are those just about to give birth, questioning their decision. The fears of being a SMBC resurfacing as they embark on the journey of motherhood. There are those like me, who want to know if I’m making the best decision, who need some guidance and reassurance before officially getting to insemination point. Trying to navigate all of the terminology, procedures, and medications.

Donor Siblings

 Another thing that has surprised me since joining the support groups is that I feel more open to the idea of having a child via anonymous donor. I use to be concerned that my child would have siblings and that neither of them would know each other. Then I felt concerned that they might be able to discover each other but still be complete strangers. The support groups have changed my perspective. I read a post from a woman who was considering giving her embryo to another woman with whom their children shared a donor. They had become quite close since finding each other on one of the donor registry sites that allowed them to connect. Its made me realize that things aren’t necessarily going to be one way, black and white. There is a lot of gray areas and unpredictability to life. I may meet a woman I really like and can share a special bond with over our children sharing the same donor. It could be that or it could be a totally different situation.

Regardless I can’t be afraid or worried. I will be totally 100% honest to my child about who their biological father is. I’ll rest assured knowing that my child can know they were 100% wanted, by me, and they had a father that was selfless enough to assist with that. I’ll also rest assured knowing that I there are plenty of other woman who have and are experiencing the same thing as myself and that I don’t have to feel as alone as I once did.

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